adult life

what do i want to be when i grow up? wow - that's a toughie. way back in college, i took a few art classes. i was an english major at the time and decided it would be cool to write and design my own greeting cards. so i latched onto art as a minor. after taking a few graphic design classes, i flipped my major/minor and was on my way. i had a great design professor - thanks, uta - who made me fall in love with organizing information on a page in such a way that the message was communicated in the best possible manner. i felt alive. i was invincible. i was 20.

fast forward to today. i've been working at a large non-profit for almost 5 years. my longest gig before this was 2 years - seems that was my tolerance timetable. i did catalog work right out of college then it was a move "home" for some temp work before landing a spot with an ad agency. 2 years later, i moved on to a university and, 2 years after that, a corporation. i've dipped my toe in a lot of different pools and have been lucky enough to enjoy most of my working days.

i get bored very easily. hence, the 2 year time limit. at this job, however, i had a different plan. when i reached the 2 year line, i was on another mission. minnesota and i decided to pay off all of our debts and begin saving to move to another city. so i had to stick around way past what i would've liked. now, we can look to the future with no strings holding us anywhere. no creditors. no payment books. no looming bills. it's amazing and fabulous and more incredible than i ever imagined it would be.

so back to the boredom. i'm questioning my career. i'm wondering if this is my passion - what i'm meant to do. i enjoy design and i believe it changes the world minute by minute. i like being part of that change. i like finding ways to make things "fit". i adore when a "client" tells me i've nailed the visual for the message they're wanting to communicate. it's exhilarating. and the process is invigorating. it's like putting a puzzle together - only i have to figure out what the pieces look like as well as what the overall finished picture will be.

is it just this place that's stifling me? is it just the constant drudgery pressing me further and further into this horrible carpet which hasn't seen a vacuum cleaner in months - possibly years? is it the sticky tentacles of an incredibly incompetent and inappropriate ceo wrapping around my soul trying to suck me under? i won't have it. i won't be drug down. certainly not by a mudhen.

i have visions of beautiful places where design is revered for all it can do. where the culture appreciates what everyone has to say - not just the cronies and yes men. where i'll find my voice and rise up above this funk. i know this beauty exists and i know i can bring it into my life. watch out portland, we're coming for you.